Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
