Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
