Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
