Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
