does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize
