do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
