Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
