I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
