how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
