I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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