i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
