Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
