yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
