if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
