Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
