True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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