this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
