Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I deserve this hangover.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
