Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
