Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
foreskin is a definite game changer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
