My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
