i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
