Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
