yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
