We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
