yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
