She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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