Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
