I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it hurts more in the daytime
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
