my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
