is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
