Umm I'm too high to move.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Randomize
