It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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