I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
