remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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