I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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