Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
