Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
