You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
