He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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