eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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