To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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