I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
