Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
