You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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