Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
