Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
