dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
