I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
