And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We are all done wearing pants today
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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