toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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