I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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